A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the 
police.  "What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your 
car?" asks the cop.

"I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act."

"Oh yeah?" says the doubtful cop. "Lets see you do it." The 
juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches 
masterfully.

A couple driving by slows down to watch. "Wow," says the 
driver to his wife. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test 
they're giving now!"

     How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies? 

     Seven...one to mix the batter and six to peel the M&Ms. 

Does anyone know what would happen if the earth rotated 30 times faster than
it does today ??

We would get our paycheck everyday, and all women would bleed to death...

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no
lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and then
horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and
rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the
saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get
a firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down
the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly
impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she
leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now
at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is battered
against the ground again and again. She is mere moments away from
unconsciousness when........

  ........the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

Why are women like snow flakes??
 
         They are all beautiful.
         They are all different.
         They can all be cold as ice.
         But they'll all melt when they land on your face......