As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside
a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists.  An Arab 
salesman approached them carrying belts. 

After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked 
where they were from. 

"America," the husband replied. 

Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded. 
"She's not from the States." 

"Yes I am." said the wife. He looked at her and asked. "Is he 
your husband?" "Yes." she replied. 

Turning to the husband, he offered..... "I'll give you 100 camels 
for her." The husband looked stunned, and there was a long 
silence.  Finally he replied, "she's not for sale." 

After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her 
husband what took him so long to answer, to which the 
husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get 100 
camels back home."

What do you do if someone's having a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry.

Two English sheep in a field.
One says to the other "I'm not feeling very well"

The other turns around and replies

"Shut-the-f*ck-up, or you'll get us all killed"


Sent by paully

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Aussie, an Abo, a Yank, an 
African, an elephant, a refrigerator, two blondes, a homosexual, three 
social workers, a Jew, a crocodile and a kiwi all walked into a bar.
The bartender turned around and said, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

How do a jewish couple have oral sex?

... "SET AT OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE BED AND YELL SCREW YOU TO 
ONE AND OTHER"

Sent by Ivan