Q:  What is your date of birth?
A:  July fifteenth.
Q:  What year?
A:  Every year.

I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I can't break my wife of the 
habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."

"What is she doing?", the pal asks.

"Waiting for me to get home."

Homer:  Boy, you don't have to follow in my footsteps.
Bart:   Don't worry, I don't even like using the bathroom after you.
Homer:  Why you little -- !

How do you separate the Greek boys from the Greek men at a Greek BBQ?

With a Crowbar!!!!!

Q. What do a hurricane, a tornado, and a
   redneck divorce all have in common? 

A. Someone's going to lose their trailer...