I had a uncle one time who left my little brother who was three years old in his
jeep by himself while he ran in the house to use the pisser and he gave direct
instructions that whatever happened dont spill the coffe we'll my brother really
looked up to our uncle so he wasnt going to let anythign happen to the coffe and
he did just that he accidently kicked the jeep in to geer and it rolled down
the hill and he didnt try to stop it he jumped out and ran in to tell my uncle
what a good job of protecting his coffe he did while the jeep lay at the bottom
of the hill wrecked.Weird but true

Sent by Matt

I woke up a little early the other day 
and decided to go take a shower. 
My wife woke up and said rather lustily, 
"Honey, are you in a hurry to get to work?"  
"No, not really." 
"Then will you scub the shower before 
you get in it?" 

Sent by Michael

English comedian John Cleese, of Monty Python fame, was asked to describe 
the difference between British and American people. In reply Cleese said 
that there were three basic differences from the British viewpoint: 

1. "We speak English and you don't."
2. "When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite 
teams from other countries to play, as well."
3. "When you meet the head of state in Great Britain, you only have to go 
down on one knee."