If the President were a woman, this scandal never
would have happened, because women
always keep a box of kleenex on their desks. 

    - Patrice North-Rudin 

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time."  So I ordered
French Toast during the Renaissance.

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men 
   don't think there's a lot they don't know.  Women do.  Women
   want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show 
   me somebody naked."
   -Jerry Seinfield

We should restore the practice of dueling. It might improve manners 
around here. 

                                        - Edward Abbey

A penny saved is ridiculous.