He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
                                              - - - Joseph Heller

The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.

-- Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being
              hit on the head by a ball in the
              1934 World Series

Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing
   that way.

You know, medicine is not an exact science, but we are learning
all the time. Why, just fifty years ago they thought a disease
like your daughter's was caused by demonic possession or witchcraft.
But nowadays, we know that Isabelle is suffereing from an imbalance
of bodily humors, perhaps caused by a toad or a small dwarf living
in her stomach. 

     - Theodoric of York, Saturday Night Live 

All that glitters has a high refractive index.