I know a mother-in-law who sleeps in her spectacles, the better to see her 
son-in-law suffer in here dreams. 
       - Attributed to Ernest Coquelin 

Happiness is a positive cash flow. 

"I'll moider da bum. " 
    - Heavyweight boxer Tony Galento, when asked what he
      thought of William Shakespeare 

"Doing a thing well is often a waste of time." -- Robert Byrne 

We all know what a Birdie (1 under) and a Bogey (one over) are.
Now there's a Lewinsky.  Its when the shot lands three feet from the
hole.