The voice from the UFO cried,
"To the smartest we'll give a free ride!"
Several men volunteered,
But the ship disappeared
With a whale and two dolphins inside. 

               There once was a Bactrian camel 
               Who was bound by no fetter or trammel. 
                    When he tried to make hay 
                    In his Bactrian way, 
               His wife said, "Make me; I'm a mammal." 

A frugal young fellow named Wise 
               Gets the most from the dead whores he buys. 
                    After sporting a while 
                    As a gay necrophile, 
               For dessert he has maggot surprise. 

Comming home at a quarter of three
I caught my wife cheating on me
I raged, "Who's this fink?"
She cried with a wink
"I don't know, It's a new one on me."

An aesthete from South Carolina
Had a cock that tinkled like china,
But while shooting his load
It cracked like old Spode,
So he's bought him a Steuben vagina.