Mary Mary
quite contrary
bought a dildo 
lost your cherry
bought another,
freaked your mother,
now you have sex alone.

Sent by Kendall

               A tidy young lady of Streator 
               Dearly loved to nibble a peter. 
                    She always would say, 
                    "I prefer it this way. 
               I think it is very much neater." 

It's only human nature after all 
               If a fellow puts a girl against the wall 
                    And puts his inclination 
                    Into her accomodation 
                    To increase the population 
                    Of the rising generation--- 
               Why, it's only human natrue after all. 

               There was a young girl from Peru 
               Who badly wanted to screw. 
                    She tried a broom-handle 
                    And the end of a candle, 
               But threw them away for a Jew. 

There was an old man from Pinole 
               Who always got in the wrong hole, 
                    And when he withdrew, 
                    All covered with goo, 
               His temper was out of control.