Here I sit Same as ever
Dirty arse, got no paper
Boss is calling,
Can not linger
Stuff it, I'll use me finger

Sent by Sarah

               There once was a girl from Anheuser, 
               Who said no man could suprise her, 
                    But Pabst took a chance, 
                    Found a Schlitz down her pants, 
               And now he is sadder Budweiser. 

A lad from far-off Transvaal 
            Was lustful, but tactful withal. 
                He'd say, just for luck, 
                "Mam'selle, do you fuck?" 
            But he'd bow till he almost would crawl. 

There was a young couple named Kelly               
               Who had to live belly to belly, 
               Because once, in their haste, 
               They used library paste 
               Instead of petroleum jelly. 

            Remember those two of Aberystwyth 
            Who connected the things that they pissed with? 
                She sat on his lap 
                But they both had the clap, 
            And they cursed with the things that they kissed with.