There was a young lady named Shriver 
            Who was screwed in the ass by the driver, 
                And when she complained 
                He said, "Sorry you were pained," 
            And gave her a fiver to bribe her. 

There was a young girl of Darjeeling
Who could dance with such exquisite feeling.
There was never a sound
For miles around,
Save of fly-buttons hitting the ceiling. 

There was a young lady from France
Who got on a bus in a trance
Everyone f*cked her
Apart from the Conductor
But he came twice in his pants

               A passionate red-headed girl, 
               When you kissed her, her senses would whirl, 
                    And her twat would get wet 
                    And would wiggle and fret, 
               And her cunt-lips would curl and unfurl. 

Two elephants named Harry and Fay
Could not kiss with their trunks in the way.
So they boarded a plane,
They're now kissing in Maine,
Because their trunks got sent to L.A.