Once a pirate named Yates 
            Danced the jig for all of his mates. 
                He slipped in his cutlas, 
                And made himself nutless, 
            And now he's quite useless on dates. 

            Whenever a fellow named Rex, 
            Flashed his very small organ of sex, 
                He always got off, 
                For the judges would scoff, 
            De minimis non curat lex. 

There was a young fellow named Oakum
               Whose brags about fucking were hokum, 
                    For he really preferred 
                    To suck cocks and stir turd--- 
               He was Queen of the Flits in Hoboken. 

There was a young lady from Wheeling
Who professed to no sexual feeling
Till a cynic named Boris
Just touched her clitoris
And she had to be scraped off the ceiling

There was a young man from Bengal
Who got in a hole in a wall.
"Oh," he said, "It's a pity
This hole is so gritty,
But it's better than nothing at all."