I sat next to the Duchess at tea. 
               It was just as I feared it would be: 
                    Her rumblings abdominal 
                    Were simply phenomenal, 
               And everyone thought it was me. 

               There lived in French Louisiana 
               A quaint and deceived old duenna 
                    Who naively thought 
                    That a penis was wrought 
               To be et like a thick ripe banana. 

There once was a man from Nepal 
Whose turds were exceedingly small. 
He'd sit in his room 
And shit on a spoon 
And then flick his turds down the hall. 

There once was a Vassar B.A. 
               Who pondered the problem all day 
                    Of what there would be 
                    If C-U-N-T 
               Were divided by C-O-C-K. 

A contortionist hailing from Lynch 
            Used to rent out his tool by the inch. 
                A foot cost a quid--- 
                He could and he did 
            Stretch it to three in a pinch.