There was once a sad Maitre d'hotel 
            Who said, "They can all go to hell! 
                What they do to my wife--- 
                Why it ruins my life; 
            And the worst is, they all do it well." 

               There once were two brothers named Luntz 
               Who buggered each other at once. 
                    When asked to account 
                    For this intricate mount, 
               They said, "Assholes are tighter than cunts." 

               There was a young man named Manis 
               Who had an extremely large anus. 
                    When he went to make doo 
                    It was four foot by two 
               And the smell was really quite heinous! 

An orgasm can be oh so fine
A multiple one quite divine
But if you should moan
And it's not your own
You faked it you bullshitting swine.

There was a young fellow from Sparta,
A really magnificent farter,
On the strength of one bean
He'd fart God Save The Queen,
And Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.