There was a young man of Dumfries 
            Who said to his girl,"If you please, 
                It would give me great bliss 
                If, while playing with this, 
            You would pay some attention to these!" 

Hit By A Bus     By Andy Christopfel

Late
God I'm late
For today...today I have a date
With my professor that is
Gotta go
Gotta run
Gotta hurry, no time for fun
shoot me
kill me
stab me with a knife
School is much more important than this 
precious little life
Whizzing past the students
Running blindly pass the campus sights
I take a step into the street and meet 
my creator's device
Call me an idiot
Call me a damn fool
I did not do it in the name of love,
Rather, in the name of school
Pick up the telephone and call that paramedic...
While you're at it, call my mommy too
But now it's too late,
And there's nothing that you can do
I can't even speak, scream, yell or cuss
Oh my God! Oh my God!
I've been HIT BY A BUS

Sent by andrew christopfel

There was an old man of Tantivy 
               Who followed his son to the privy. 
                    He lifted the lid 
                    To see what he did, 
               And found that it smelt of Capivi. 

There once was a woman from Niczes
Whose breasts were two different sizes
One it was small
It was nothing at all
The other was large and won prizes

Sent by karen

There once was an apple-cheeked runt 
            Who was welcomed with joy at the Front. 
                This God's gift to he-men 
                Prevented spilled semen, 
            For his ass was tattooed like a cunt.