An ode to the hole
That never heals.
The more you touch it
The better it feels.
You can rub it
And scrub it
And brush it like hell,
But you will never get rid
Of that fucking fish smell.

(Author Unknown)

There was a young lady of Mott
Who inserted a fly up her twat
And pretended the buzz
Was not what it was,
But something she knew it was not. 

Mary had a little lamb,
     Its fleece was slightly grey.
     It didn't have a father,
     Just some borrowed DNA.

     It sort of had a mother,
     Though the ovum was on loan.
     It was not so much a lambkin
     As a little lamby clone.

     And soon it had a fellow clone,
     And soon it had some more.
     It made the children laugh and sing,
     The teachers found it droll;
     There were too many lamby clones
     For Mary to control.

     No other could control the sheep
     Since their programs didn't vary,
     So the scientists resolved it all
     By simply cloning Mary.

     But now they feel quite sheepish,
     Those scientists unwary.
     One problem solved, but what to do
     With Mary, Mary, Mary?

               There was a young fellow named Gluck 
               Who found himself shit out of luck. 
                    Though he petted and wooed, 
                    When he tried to get screwed 
               He found virgins just don't give a fuck. 

Mary had a little pig
She kept it in a bucket
Cause everytime she took it out
The bulldog tried to fuck it

Sent by bob