For all of you out there who've had to deal with an irate customer, this one

is for you. It's a classic! In tribute to those 'special' customers we all

love! 

An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being

smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who

probably deserved to fly as cargo. A crowded United flight was canceled.  A

single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. 

Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket

down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be

FIRST CLASS."  The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help

you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to

work something out."  The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that

the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?" 

Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address

microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing

throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT

KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the

gate."  With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man

glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore, "F*** you." 

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have

to stand in line for that, too." 

Question: What's the penalty for bigamy?
Answer: Two mothers-in-law 

Joan, a rather well-proportioned & near-sighted secretary, spent almost 
all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a 
bathing suit the first few days, but always removed her glasses for an 
even facial tan. After several days she decided that no one could see her 
way up there, so she slipped out of her suit for an overall tan. She'd 
hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs; she was lying 
on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear. "Excuse me, 
miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of 
breath from running up the stairs. "The hotel doesn't mind your sunbathing 
on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit 
as you have for the past week." "What difference does it make?" Joan asked 
rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a 
towel." "Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on 
the dining room skylight!" 

A doctor fell into a well once.
He learned to tend to the sick and leave the well alone. 

How did the blond break her leg while raking leaves?


She fell out of the tree



sent by Chris