One day, a fellow went for a ride through the park on his bicycle.
The following day, a friend asked him if he would like to do it again.
He replied, "No thanks, I'm not into recycling."

A small boy was lost, so he went up to a
policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"
The cop said, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Beer and women!" 

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in- 
law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke 
to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted 
on them both trying to find her mother.

The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and 
started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they 
came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up 
against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood 
facing her.

The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"

"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into 
this mess, let him get himself out of it."

One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table
working on the boy's Social Studies homework, the chapter
about government. The boy turns to his father and asks,
"Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?"
The father replies without hesitating, "Oh, about ten percent."

One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly 
drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was 
followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then 
about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Dave went up to the man 
following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. "My 
wife," the man replied. "I'm sorry," said Dave. "What happened to her?" 
"My dog bit her and she died." Dave then asked who was in the second 
hearse. The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as 
well." "Can I borrow your dog?" "Get in line." replied the man.