Mongo's old lady decided she wanted t do
something special to please him on his
birthday, so she bought a pair of crotchless
panties. 
That night, as he came into the house, she
lay sprawled on the couch spread-eagle.
"Hi hon," she purred sexily. "Y'all want
some of this?"
"Hell, no!" he hollered. "Look at what it's
done to your undies!"

The doctor comes out of the delivery room and says to the father, "I'm 
sorry to have to tell you this, Mr. Jones, but apparently your child was 
born with no arms, only one leg, and teeth that project six inches out of 
its mouth."

Mr. Jones cries, "My God!  What will we do with such a deformed baby?"

The doctor says, "Use it as a rake?"

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He says, "Hey Dad! What are 
you doin?" His father says, "I'm filling your mother's tank." Johnny says, 
"Oh, yeah? Well, you should get a model that gets better mileage. The 
milkman filled her this morning."

Did you here about the new atomic cocktail?



one sip & you go out with a poof :0)

Sent by Peter

Father O'Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishioners
after his Sunday morning service as he always does when
Mary Clancey came up to him in tears.
"What's bothering you so, dear?" inquired Farther O'Grady.
"Oh, father, I've got terrible news." Replied Mary.
"Well what is it, Mary?"
"Well, my husband, passed away last night, Father."
"Oh, Mary" said the father, "that's terrible. Tell me Mary,
did he have any last requests?"
"Well, yes he did father," replied Mary.
"What did he ask, Mary?"
Mary replied, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down the gun...'"