"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to
purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a
television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" I 
asked.
"No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I
figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie,
each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales
begins.
The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, 
just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men 
before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands."
The second can't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing. I was walking
down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a
rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit
its head off, and sucked the venom down in one gulp. And I'm still here
today."
The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his 
penis.

Dentist: "Would you help me out? I'd like you to
give a few of your loudest screams." 
Patient: "Why, Doc? It isn't all that bad this time." 
Dentist: "Well, there are about 20 people in the
waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss
the five o'clock Braves game on Channel 4." 

What's the definition of a Jewish nyphomaniac?

     One that screws when she's just had her hair done. 

Radar: "Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."

Pilot: "Roger, but we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can 
we make up here?"

Radar: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 727 makes when it 
hits a 747?"