Why are there no Olympic Team Cuban swimmers?

Cause all the Cuban who can swim are here already! 

A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle
of the road. which one do you run over first, and why?

     The conductor. Business before pleasure. 

A woman comes home from the doctor and tells her husband the bad news that she has only 18 
hours to live. "That's terrible!!!" said her husband, "What would you like to do during your 
last hours ? I'll try to make it as memorable as possible for you."

"Well," she said, "First, I want to take a long romantic walk, then have a quiet dinner at my 
favorite restaurant and then go to bed with you and make passionate love all night long !"

"Gee, Honey." said her husband, "I don't know about that 'all night long' stuff. After all, 
I'm gonna have to get up in the morning and you won't" 

What is green, has four legs and smells like woman?

The white house's pool table

Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all come 
home from work at the same time and get on the elevator. 

The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says: " 
OOOOOhhh that looks like semen." She reaches out and 
touches the blob with her fingers and says "It feels like 
semen."

The redhead reaches out and touches it with her fingers, 
smells it, and says "It smells like semen." 

The blonde,  reaches out and touches it with her fingers 
and then puts her fingers in her mouth and tastes it and says, 
"It doesn't taste like anyone in this building . . ."