[Associated Press,Kincaid, W. VA] A man at a
   party popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit
   down, triggering an explosion that blew off his
   lips, teeth and tongue, state police said
   Wednesday. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the
   blasting cap as a prank during a party late
   Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. "Another man
   had it in an aquarium, hooked to a battery, and
   was trying to explode it," Payne said. "It
   wouldn't go off and this guy said, "I'll show you
   how to set it off." "He put it in his mouth and
   bit down. It blew all his teeth off, his tongue
   and his lips," Payne said. Stromyer was listed in
   guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial
   injuries, according to a spokesman at Charleston
   Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine
   anyone doing something like that," Payne said.

Lady Golfer

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was 
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several 
minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works 
at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at 
him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

I wanted to make an impression at a family reunion and remember the 
names of all of the new husband's family members.  There was one 
gent whom I'd asked his name and tried very to remember but failed 
repeatedly.  Finally he bailed me out and said his name was Dick.  
Without a thought I quickly said, "Gosh, how could I forget?  You 
*look* like a 'Dick'!!!"