"Since all the Heaven's Gates members were discovered wearing Nike sneakers,
 do you think Nike might change their slogan to 'Maybe You Should Think
 About It'?"
                        -- Scott Adams, DNRC Newsletter 14.0

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to
find a woman I don't like and just give her a house,"
       
                                - Lewis Grizzard

"Into everyone's life, a little rain must fall, but this is ridiculous."

    - Noah 

"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better
verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of
that study: Duh."

                                     - Conan O'Brien

"NOTE TO SELF:  When CGI women start turning you on, it's time to leave
 the house."

-- Jaffo