Stuffing the turkey at Christmas
Reminded me of you
The melons in the market
The pears and peaches too
Cracking open Christmas nuts
Brought memories of your gentle touch
But all the while it hurt so much
'cos I'm still in love with you...


Copyright: D. Harvey 1998.

While in Athens a tourist named Joan
Told her guide, with a trace of a groan,
"Though a fuck is just fine
when I'm lying supine
It's a pain in the ass when I'm prone!"

A prudish young damsel named Rose 
               Is particular how men propose. 
                    To "Let's have intercourse," 
                    She says gaily, "Of course," 
               But to "Let's fuck," she turns up her nose, 

A horrid old lady of Summit, 
               Every time she got laid had to vomit, 
                    And although she would groan 
                    When her man got a bone, 
               "Give it here," she would say, "and I'll gum it!" 

               A Chinese chef named Chang 
               Made dishes of unusual tang. 
                    He stirred his wok 
                    With the head of his cock 
               'Til oyster sauce poured from his wang.