There was a young brother monastic 
            Whose penis was somewhat elastic. 
                So when it uncoiled, 
                With a snap it recoiled, 
            Interrupting his studies scholastic. 

               The Rajah of Afghanistan 
               Imported a Birmingham can, 
                    Which he set as a throne 
                    On a great Buddha stone--- 
               But he crapped out-of-doors like a man. 

                    There was a young fellow from Dallas
                            
                    Who enjoyed doing things with his phallus.
                            So many tricks did he try
                            It became, by and by,
                            
                    Little more than a leather-tough callous.
                            

There was an aesthetic young miss 
            Who thought it the apex of bliss 
                To jazz herself silly 
                With the bud of a lily, 
            Then go to the garden to piss! 

A virgin felt urged in Toulouse 
               Till she thought she would try sef-abuse. 
                    In search of a hard on 
                    She ran out in the garden, 
               And was had by a statue of Zeus.