At the ripe old age of 77, grandpa had decided to marry a young girl of 20.
Grandpa's doctor tried to explain that at his age sex with a young girl
could be dangerous, even fatal. Grandpa, not the slightest bit perturbed
replied "Oh well, if she dies, I'll just get myself another one." 

One doc operated on a person for a hernia. He opened his testis and took 
the balls out and kept it on the table. At the end of the operation he 
wanted to put his balls back into the pouch of testis. He searched 
operation theatre but could not find the balls of the patient. Lastly he 
told nurse to get two small onions from his lunch box as he cannot keep 
his testis pouch empty.
After that operation he met the same patient in a garden for morning walk.
Being a good doc, he asked his patient how he is feeling now.
He said "Doc everything is fine, life is very cool except that whenever I
scratch my balls, my eyes start watering."

Two storks on a nest, a father stork and baby stork. Baby is crying and
crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry Son, your
mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy." 
The next night, its fathers turn to do the job.
"Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing
joy to new mommies and daddies." 
A few days later, the stork parents are desperate, their son is gone from
the nest all night. Finally, shortly before dawn, he returns and the
parents ask their son where he had been all night. 
Says the baby stork, "Awww, just scaring the shit out of college kids!" 

What is a yankee? 

     A quickie, but you do it yourself. 

A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar
in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err,
which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside
to the parking meter?"
A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body
hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on
his stool, looked down at the quivering little man
and said, "It's my dog. Why?"
"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous,
"I believe my dog just killed it, sir."
"What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the
hell kind of dog do you have?"
"Sir," answered the little man, "It's a four week old
puppy."
"Bull!" roared the biker, "How could your puppy kill my
Doberman?"
"It appears that he choked on it, sir."