The middle aged secretary had never been married and had had enuff of
   work, as well as the single life. It was no secret that she was
   looking to get married.
   
   As she came back from her lunch hour with another bag from the drug
   store, a co-worker said, "In the past 3 weeks you've bought enough
   birth control pills to last a year, lots of vaginal foam, flavored
   douches, several diaphragms and Lord knows how many condoms. And you
   don't even have a boyfriend. Whom are you trying to seduce ?"
   
   She smiled slyly and replied, "The Druggist, silly."

       Age         FAVORITE FANTASY

        17         tall, dark and handsome
        25         tall, dark and handsome with money
        35         tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
        48         a man with hair
        66         a man

Boy: Will you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not!
Boy: Good, cause I didn't do my homework!

How do you get a horny dog to stop humping on your leg?

Pick him up and start sucking his dick.

    Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka
   had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers,
   the restaurant's owner waited nervously for the clerics' reaction.
   "Quick, man," he whispered to the waiter, "what did they say?"
   "Nothing," replied the waiter. "They were all too busy slipping the
   seeds into their pockets."