"Why do you look so glum today?", the teacher asked young Johnny. 
"I didn't have no breakfast," Johnny mumbled. 
"You poor dear," said the teacher. "Now, to return to our geography 
lesson, Johnny, where is the French border?" 
"In bed with my mom. That's why I didn't have no breakfast." 

for you girls...

Why is 88 better than 69?

You get 8 twice.

There is a child molester and a young boy walking through a deep remote 
forest. After a while the boy gets very cold and frightened so he says, 
"Mister i'm scared and cold, please let me go",the child molester cries out,
"You think your scared I have to walk home alone!" 

A young punk gets on the cross-town bus. He's got spiked, multicoloured
hair that's green, purple and orange.  His clothes are a tattered mix of
leather rags.  His legs are bare and he's wearing worn-out shoes.
 His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewellery and his earring
are big, bright feathers. He sits down in the only vacant seat, directly
across from an old man who glares at him for the next ten miles.
 Finally, the punk gets self-conscious and barks at the old man: "What are
you looking at you old fart...didn't you ever do anything wild when you were
young?"
 Without missing a beat, the old man replies: "Yeah, back when I was young
and in the Navy I got really drunk one night in Singapore and had sex with
a parrot.... I thought maybe you were my son."

How do faggots get a condom off? 

     They fart.