What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?

Put the remote control between his toes.

   There was this fisherman that always had a good day fishing.
   His friend, the game warden, couldn't figure out how he did
   it, so one day the game warden decided to go fishing with
   his friend. The fisherman took his friend the warden out
   to his favorite spot. Once there, the fisherman took a
   stick of dynamite out of his backpack, lit it, and threw
   it into the water. The dynamite exploded and a dozen fish
   floated to the top. The game warden said, "That's illegal,
   you can't do that."The fisherman goes, "Really?" He then
   lights another stick of dynamite and throws it into the water.
   The dynamite exploded, and a dozen more fish floated to the
   top. The game warden said, "Stop that now, and take this
   boat back to shore...I'm going to have to give you a citation
   and confiscate all your gear." The fisherman said,"Oh, really?"
   He then lights another stick of dynamite, throws it into
   the game warden's lap, and said "You gonna sit there and
   keep flapping your trap, or are you gonna fish?"
   

What has a woman got in common with a box of Kentucky Fried Chicken?

Once you get past the tender breast and the juicy thigh, all you're left
with is a greasy box.

Two truck drivers arrive in front of a tunnel. The sign says MAXIMUM 
HEIGHT 3 METERS. The first driver measures his truck and says, "Damn...3 
.2 meters!"
The second one looks furtively around and says, "No police, anywhere. We 
can go!"

Little Lucy was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders
mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" 
"They're mating, Lucy" he replied.
"What do you call the spider on top Daddy?" Lucy asked.
"Oh, that's a Daddy Longlegs.
Lucy asked, "Oh, so one's a Daddy Longlegs and the other one is a
Mommy Longlegs?"
Daddy replied, "No, both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
Lucy thought for a moment, then took her foot and stamped them flat.
Well, we're not having THAT sort of thing in our garden!!"