Hitting on the novel idea that he could end his wife's incessant nagging 
by giving her a good scare, Hungarian Jake Fen built an elaborate harness 
to make it look as if he had hanged himself.
When his wife came home and saw him she fainted. Hearing a disturbance a 
neighbor came over and, finding what she thought were two corpses, seized 
the opportunity to loot the place. As she was leaving the room, her arms 
laden, the outraged and suspended Mr. Fen kicked her stoutly in the 
backside. This so surprised the lady that she dropped dead of a heart 
attack. Happily, Mr. Fen was acquitted of manslaughter and he and his wife 
were reconciled.

After my recent breakup and the hell I went through, 
I quickly dropped a few pounds. Not quite Ally-McBeal- 
thin but close. I ran into a friend of mine who was surprised at 
the quick change and commented, "Damn, you've lost a lot of 
weight". My response to him,  "Yep, lost 220 pounds of fat 
German bastard".

A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the
time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus
and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.