My brother snores soo loud.  Recently we went out west for 
vacation, and he didn't snore at all...except the first night we 
were there.  It got to be so bad that I took my pillow, sheet, and 
blanket and went into the bathroom to sleep.  I put my stuff in 
the bathtub, shut the door, and fell asleep in the tub.  Me, being 
the sound sleeper that I am, didn't hear the door open when my 
brother had to use the toilet.  Seeing me fast asleep in the 
bathtub, he turned the water on.  I slept right through the whole 
thing until morning, when my sheet and blanket were soaked by 
lukewarm water.  I thought I wet the bed until my brother 
confessed a few days later.

A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery,
and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head -- and realized
that he'd forgotten to cut eyeholes in the mask. 

Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an
          airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16
          bills.