"The Russians love Brooke Shields because her
eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev." 

Robin Williams.

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 However, the administrators probably eat Spam(tm), so you shouldn't really
 care what they think.

 You are dumb.

 The above statement does not necessarily reflect the views of the Univerity
 of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign (but you know that's what they think of you).

When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was a failed
experiment headed for the ash heap of history, I knew he was a
demagogue.
        When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was an evil
empire, I knew he was a dangerous kook.
        When that fool Reagan said that we could end the Cold War by
escalating the arms race, I knew the odds favored nuclear
annihilation.
        When the Soviet Union went broke, dissolved, and repudiated
its past, I knew it was all Gorbachev's genius, and that fool Reagan
had nothing to do with it.
        Because if that fool Reagan was right all along...
        ...what kind of fool am I?
        --Jules Feiffer

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I
       should have been more specific. -- Jane Wagner

"In the beginning the world was without form, and void. And God said
 'Let there be light'. And God separated the light from the dark.
 And did two loads of laundry."
                        -- Kevin Krisciunas, in rec.humor.funny