If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

                                                          -- George Bernard Shaw

(speaking of his family's habit of laughing over his father's drunken
escapades)

"Despite it's clever disguise the aperture to the right is not actually a
 window, but is a fire exit. _So_ if you want it open, please light this
 waste-paper bin so we aren't breaking the law, and the fire brigade will open
 it for you."
                        -- Paul Gardner-Stephen

"For me, the best thing about cyberpunk is that it taught
me how to enjoy shopping malls, which used to terrify me.
Now I just imagine the whole thing is two miles below the
moon's surface, and that half the people's right-brains
have been eaten by roboticized steel rats. And suddenly
it's interesting again." 

    - Rudy Rucker 

A Marriage Vow:
A knot you tie with your tounge
you cannot untie
with your teeth.

Sent by shadoewalker

"They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take 
them off." 

- Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air 
Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.