Definition of Stress: The confusion created when one's mind
       overrides the body's desire to beat or choke the living shit out
       of some asshole who desperately needs it.

Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.

After finding no qualified candidates for the position
of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to
announce the  appointment of David Steele to the post.

-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools,
                    Barrington, Rhode Island

I place economy among the first and most important virtues,
and public debt as the greatest of dangers. To preserve our
independence, we must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt. 

     - Thomas Jefferson 

Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.