It's one thing to have to explain to a man why a billion dollar measure 
has been vetoed, but it is much more difficult to explain to a woman why 
the cap of the toothpaste has not been put back on.

- W. C. Fields

"Wagner's music is better than it sounds."

                                      -- Mark Twain

"I don't want a long, hard anything."
                        -- Karen

Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.

"I want to touch it because it says don't touch..."
                        -- Karen