"My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed." 

                                     - Christopher Morley

One of the major functions of skin is to keep people who look at
       you from throwing up. -- Actual exam answer

   My mother made me a whore.
   (to which someone else added)
   If I give her the yarn, will she make me one too?


  

If there's one thing I hate, it's a proctologist with poor depth perception.

"What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?"

                                          - Marilyn Pittman