Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.
If the end does not justify the means - what can? - Edward Abbey
My wife's cooking is so bad that we pray after we eat.
"Psst... hey Guido... it's all so clear to me now... I'm the Keeper of the Cheese... and you're the Lemon Merchant... and he KNOWS... that's why he's going to KILL us... and we have to get away before he sets loose the marmosets upon us... DON'T WORRY LITTLE MISSY!! I'LL SAVE YOU!!" -- Ren, from Ren & Stimpy, "In The Army"
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