There was a young lad from Nahant
                            
                    Who was made like the Sensitive Plant.
                            When asked, "Do you fuck?"
                            He replied, "No such luck.
                            
                    I would if I could but I can't."
                            

Tombstone Epitaph

More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:
Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay.

                    A crafty young bard named McMahon
                            
                    Whose poetry never would scan,
                            Once said with a pause,
                            "It's prob'ly because
                            
                    I am always attempting to insert as many extra
                            syllables into the ultimate line as I
                            possibly can."
                            

There was a young man of Newminster Court 
            Bugger'd a pig, but his prick was too short. 
                Said the hog, "It's not nice, 
                But pray take my advice: 
            Make tracks, or by the police you'll be caught."

The wife of young Richard of Limerick 
               Complained to her hesband, "My quim, Rick, 
                    Still grows in diameter 
                    Each time that you ram at her; 
               How can your poor tool stay so slim, Rick?"