There was a sailor from Brighton 
               Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one." 
                    She replied, "Bless my soul, 
                    You're in the wrong hole! 
               There's plenty of room in the right one!" 

Fuck me quick, fuck me deep, fuck me oft
In the bog, in the bath, in the loft;
Up my ass, up my quim.
Knees, armpits, lip rim
With your prick...but *please*...nothing soft. 

A modest young girl named Oola
Once donned a grass skirt to dance Hula
A cow ate the grass
Exposing her ass
Now she's no longer modest but coola 

As Jane's tits brushed Robert's chest, 
               Her belly on his came to rest, 
                    And she gave him a grin, 
                    As his penis slipped in, 
               To begin what both loved doing best. 

There was an old man of Madrid 
            Who went to an auction to bid. 
                In the first lot they sold 
                Was an ancient commode--- 
            And, my God, when they lifted the lid!