The Pope was working on a crossword puzzle.  He thought
and thought about one clue, finally gave up and asked the 
Cardinal next to him, "What's a four letter word, ending in 
U - N - T that means 'woman'?"

The Cardinal was working on his own puzzle and didn't even 
bother to look up.  "*A*unt, your Holiness."

The Pope didn't speak for a second.  "Oh."  He paused.  "Do 
you have an eraser?"

Have you heard the one about the . . . .

    . . . recent survey on cigarettes which found that
   90% of the men that tried Camels still prefer women. 

More Jesse news... 

Public Statement by the Rev. Jesse Jackson 

Due to the great consternation caused by the revelation of my act of 
procreation, I accept my obligation to give an explanation to the
population for my act of copulation. I gave in to temptation, for the 
anticipation of sexual gratification, that I could not obtain through 
masturbation, resulted in my fornication. I accepted her invitation,
and provided her with excitation, stimulation, penetration, replication, 
and liberation. She provided lubrication (to avoid inflammation) and I 
wore condoms to avoid contamination. 

She cried for duplication but I insisted upon termination, in spite her 
fascination with variation. This has caused me great aggravation, and 
the agitation and provocation of the media has resulted in my humiliation,
denigration, and degradation. My wife is considering castration, which
would require my hospitalization. 
Pray that this matter will find culmination in my sanctification and 
rehabilitation so that my plans for nomination to my ultimate vocation 
will not result in revocation and termination. I hope this proclamation 
has provided illumination and verification and will prohibit further 
provocation. 

Sincerely, 

The Rev. Jesse Jackson 

Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear
walked out into the clearing no more than 50 feet in front of them.
The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running
shoes, then began to furiously attempt to lace them up as the bear
slowly approached them. The second man looked at the first,
confused, and said, "What are you doing? Running shoes aren't
going to help, you can't outrun that bear." "I don't need to," said
the first man, "I just need to outrun you."

A drunk leaves a bar and decides to take a shortcut through
a graveyard. It is raining heavily and very dark. The drunk
fails to see an open grave and falls into it. He tries to
climb out of it, but it is too deep and the rain has turned
the dirt to mud and has made it too slippery to climb. He
gives up after a while and decides to spend the night there.
     A while later, another drunk leaves the same bar and
decides to take the same shortcut through the graveyard. He,
too, falls into that open grave and tries to climb out but
the mud is too slippery. The first drunk is still sitting
there and watches as the other drunk tries but fails to get
out.
     The first drunk stands up, taps the second drunk on the
shoulder and tells him, "You'll never get out!".
     He did.