This very old guy, older than 90, whips back the covers one morning with a 
big hard on.
"What do you think about this, Honey?" he says to his wife.
She says "Now that you have the wrinkles out of it, why don't you wash 
it?"

At a U.N. meeting the American ambassador turned to the Japanese 
ambassador and whispered, "When was your last election?" The Japanese 
ambassador turned bright red and whispered back, "before bleakfast." 

NOVICE: Do clever men make good husbands?

SAGE: Clever men don't BECOME husbands!

Why did the woman with P.M.S. cross the road? 

     She just did, alright!! 

On a first date, a guy escorts a girl home and asks:
Guy: Can I come up for a cup of coffee?
Girl: Actually, I never invite guys over on a first date.
The guy thinks for a minute and says:
Well, what about the last date?