What is the meaning of life?

All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate.

Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married and has 17 children. Then her
husband dies. She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her
next husband. Then he dies. A while later, she dies.

At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, "At least they're
finally together."

A guy sitting in the front row says, "Excuse me Father, but do you mean 
her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?"

The priest says, "I mean her legs."

What did Marv Albert do after NBC gave him the pink slip?

He put it on. 

How do you change a blonde's mind?

     Buy her another beer. 

Little Johnny was late for school. When he finally got there
his teacher asked,
"Why are you late little Johnny?"
Johnny replied, "My grandpa got burnt, Miss."
The teacher replied, "I hope it wasn't too bad."
Then little Johnny said, "Don't worry, the crematorium doesn't
muck around!"