Two poor kids were invited by a rich kid to a swimming party at his pool. 
When they were changing into their swim trunks, one turned to the other 
and said: "Did you notice the small dongs on the rich kids?"
The other answered: "Yeah! It's probably because they have toys to play 
with!" 

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and
engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them
ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is
galvanized when she hears one of the men saying the following;
"Emma come first. Denna I come. Two asses, they come together.
I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again
and pee twice. Denna I come once-a more."

"You fowl-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In
this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

Hey, coola down lady," said the man, "Imma justa tellun my
friend howa to spella Mississippi."

Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that
he's worried about getting real seasick. The doctor tells him,
"Just eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock."
Steve says, "Will that keep me from getting sick?"
The doctor says, "No, but it'll look real pretty in the water."

"May I take your order?" the waiter asked. 
"Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?" 
"Nothing special sir," he replied. "We just
tell them straight out that they're going to die." 

At a government affair, the wives of four world
leaders are chatting about how people refer to a
penis in their countries.

The wife of Tony Blair says in England people
call it a gentleman, because  it stands up when
women are entering.

The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call
it a patriot, because you never know if it will
hit you on the front or on the back side.

The wife of Chirac says in France you call it a
curtain, because it goes down after the act.

With great resignation, the wife of Clinton says
in the USA you call it a rumor, because it
goes from mouth to mouth...

Sent by Igor