There is this French couple, sitting up talking, when the wife says to the 
husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen year 
old son about the birds and the bees. So the father goes to his son's room 
and says "Son do you remember that session I arranged for you with 
mademoiselle Ginette ?" "Oh yes papa, I remember very well" says the son. 
"Well son it is time you knew that the birds and the bees do the same 
thing"

   So you don't know Jack Schitt
   He's the only son of Awh Schitt and Oh Schitt.
   Awh Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Oh Schitt, the owner of
   the Kneedeep Schitt
   Inn. Jack Schitt, their first, passed on shortly after birth. Next
   came twin sons, Deep
   Schitt and Dip Schitt, two daughters, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt,
   and another son,
   Bull Schitt. Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
   Dip Schitt married
   Lotta Schitt, and they have a son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and
   Giva Schitt, married the
   Happens brothers. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd
   Schitt and Horace
   Schitt. Bull Schitt just married a spice number, Pisa Schitt, and they
   are awaiting the
   arrival of Baby Schitt. So now you know Jack Schitt.
   

Some cows view each day as the last roundup,
others, merely as another opportunity to stampede.
Most cows view the new day as an exciting new opportunity
to eat grass and point in the same direction as the other cows.

Q: What's a man's idea of foreplay?
A: A half hour of begging.

Question: What do you call a gay man's scrotum?

Answer: Mud flaps!