A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks assistant for an 
anal deodorant. The assistant explains that they don't stock 
them. The man insists that he bought his last one from this 
store. The assistant passes man on to the pharmacist, who 
explains that store has never stocked such an item. The man 
explains he bought his last one from this store only weeks ago
and has done for several years. The pharmacist asks man to 
bring in his last purchase and he will try  to match the product.

The following day, the man returns to the pharmacy and shows 
the deodorant to the pharmacist. The pharmacist asks why the 
customer thinks this is an anal deodorant, when it is obviously 
of the underarm stick variety.

The customer explains that instructions on reverse state, "Push 
up bottom to use."

What does it mean when the flag at the
Post Office is flying at half mast?

             They're hiring. 

Fred goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, I want to be castrated." 
        Doc says, "Look, I don't know what kind of cult you're into or
what your motives are, but I'm not going to do that sort of operation." 
        Fred: "Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I'm a little
embarrassed about talking about it, but I have $5,000 cash right here.
Will you do it?" 
        Doc says, "Well, OK, I guess I could make this one exception. I 
don't understand it, but OK." 
        He puts Fred to sleep, does the trick, and is waiting at the
bedside when Fred wakes up.
        "Well, Doc, how'd it go?" Fred asks. 
        "It went fine, just fine. It's really not too difficult of an
operation. As a matter of fact, $5,000 is a lot to pay for such a simple 
task, and I felt a little guilty about taking that much. So, while I was 
operating, I also noticed that you had never been circumcised, so I went
ahead and did that, too. I think, it's really better for a man to be
circumcised, and I hope you don't mind my..." 
        "CIRCUMCISED!" yells Fred. "THAT'S the word!!!"

A guy is sitting in a bar next to a really ugly woman.  She has a parrot 
on her shoulder.  Woman says: If you can tell me what kind of animal I have
on my shoulder...I'll sleep with you."  Guy says:  "An alligator?"  Woman 
says: "Close enough"

A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with 
another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put 
his Wet Willy in a vise. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. 
Then he picked up a hacksaw. The man, terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! 
You're not going to...to...cut it off, are you???!?" The husband said, 
with a gleam of revenge in his eye, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the 
garage on fire."