I can't hear you.  I have a banana in my ear. -
   Te audire non possum.  Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
                        -- Jason B. Standing, Esq.

"Sure, everyone always said 'Socrates what is the meaning of
       life?' or 'Socrates how can I find happiness?', did anyone ever
       say 'Socrates hemlock is poison.'???????" -Socrates minutes before
       death

"When I find the man who wears the same gloves as I, looks like me,
has the same DNA as I, and has a history of beating his
former wife Nicole, then I will have found the real killer." 

     - O.J. Simpson 

Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip.
There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by
the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!" 

     - Rita Rudner

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as 
they get older, then it dawned on me . . . they  were cramming for their 
finals.