I date this girl for two years-and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name..."

"Luke I am your father... and your brother."

                                        -- A redneck Vader

"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his 
hands for masturbation."

                                        - Lily Tomlin

"Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor
       well-done." -- Ernie Kovacs

Although a wise man might urge that one suffer fools gladly, this should 
not be construed as license for any fool to demand that one do so.


- Frederick William Kantor