"Pardo's First Postulate:
        Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

The government never really goes into business, for it never makes ends 
meet. And that is the first requisite. It just mixes a little business 
with a lot of politics and no one ever gets a chance to find out what is 
actually going on. 

- Thomas Alva Edison

Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people is mentally ill.
Check three friends. If they're OK, you're it!

I spilt spot remover on my dog, now's he gone.

                                      - Steven Wright

"A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he 
can't." 

- Rhonda Hansome