There was an old man of Kentucky, 
               Said to his old woman,"Oi'll fuck ye." 
                    She replied, "Now you wunt 
                    Come anigh my old cunt, 
               For your prick is all stinking and mucky," 

There was a young girl of Machias
Whose bloomers were cut on the bias,
With an opening behind
To let out the wind,
And to let the boys in once or twias.

Van Gogh found a whore who would lay, 
               And accept a small painting as pay. 
                    "Vive l' Art!" cried Van Gogh, 
                    "But it's too fucking slow--- 
               I wish I could paint ten a day!" 

I was desperate, I was weary
I prayed for holy guidance from above
I thought she came to lead me through the darkness
But then I felt a probing rubber glove...

Mary had a little sheep,
And with this sheep
She went to sleep.
The sheep turned out
To be a ram
And Mary had a little lamb!