There was a young lady from Brewster
Who's ass was so nice that I goosed her,
        But her panties were thin
        And my finger slipped in
And it still just don't smell like it used ter.

               A certain professor named Yarrow 
               Had trouble seducing a sparrow. 
                    When he'd given up hopin' 
                    He pried her jaws open, 
               And filled up her bill with his marrow. 

There once was a man from St. Pauls
Who used to perform in the halls.
His favorite trick
Was to stand on his prick
And roll off the stage on his balls. 

There was a young woman of Croft
Who played with herself in a loft.
Having reasoned that candles
Could never cause scandals,
Besides which they did not go soft. 

There once was a pious young priest
Who lived almost wholly on yest
"For", he said, "It's plain,
We must all rise again,
And I want to get started at least"